Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I looked at my own cervix.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
