I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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