he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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