Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
