Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
