yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
