my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
