I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
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Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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