She's JV to your varsity
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
