Redeem this text for a blowjob
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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