In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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