therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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