You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
