I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
