I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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