bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
