Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
