I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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