You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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