I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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