I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You were trust falling into bushes
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
