the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
