hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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