Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize