just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize