one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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