Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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