You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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