toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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