I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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