I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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