was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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