My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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