Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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