Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
