I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
