i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
