Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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