I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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