It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drunk is not a location!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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