you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
