Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
