I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
