I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
