if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
