So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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