I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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