oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize