She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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