So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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