he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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