he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
