I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
