sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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