he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I supernannyed him into submission
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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