hell yes lets make some ravioli
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
