do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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