But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
