i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize