Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
then he tried to convert me to islam
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
