How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
