alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize